The Times We Live in Are Depressing...And May Be for Quite Some Time

There are circumstances in the world today that are extremely depressing, seeming to be beyond our control yet greatly impacting our lives, creating a feeling of helplessness, and offering few clear paths to navigate all of the very real dangers.

I’m writing as an American, and in a few short months the country I love has been set back decades if not more. We have been transformed and disfigured. We are scared and confused.

We may never get our place back in the world, and I can’t help you with that.

But perhaps I can help you cope emotionally and mentally. Because no matter what it stems from, depression combines what is happening in the world with how your brain interprets it. And you have a choice as to how you think and how you act.

For me, I’m focusing on what I can control. What can you control?

Focus on your health. Eat as well as you can, move as often as you can, keep doctor’s appointments at all humanly possible. Meditate. Make art — draw, color, knit, sew.

Faithfully follow your medication schedule and make your doctors appointments.

If health care costs are soaring and services are being cut, reach out to your family doctor, your church, your family, your hospital liaison or patient advocate, your bank, any public health services — ask everyone you know for ideas and for help covering costs or finding affordable care.

Love with all your heart.

Be kind.

Stay in touch with those you love. The more often the better for you and them. And for all of us.

Build community. Love rather than withdraw.

Protect the most vulnerable.

Continue to give to the causes you believe in, continue your volunteer work and community involvement.

Give money or your time to organizations in your community that help.

Reach out to immigrants, queer people, and any in your community that are not “mainstream”. Which at this point is all of us. Even white males who are poor or in the education field or… There are people in your town or neighborhood or school who need direction and protection and solidarity.

Participate in working to save democracy in any way that you are physically, mentally and emotionally able to.

Demonstrate and protest. There were just huge nationwide demonstrations to reclaim the power of the people. There will be more.

Write letters and make phone calls.

Have hard, but civil and caring, conversations.

Lead by example. Model love, hope, determination and action.

My point here is that you are powerful! Nurture your power with healthy choices and community and love. Depression can not stand up to concerted active empowerment. And neither can any evil.

And be careful out there!

There is research showing a vegetarian diet causes or increases depression. There are also studies showing a vegetarian diet prevents or decreases depression. Respected scientists disagree.

However, Omega 3 Fatty Acids are fairly universally agreed by research scientists and doctors to be necessary for many bodily functions, including for staving off depression. Nutritional supplements are useful for vegetarians.

For pescatarians (people who eat a mostly plant-based diet but do include some seafood), studies suggest that just one serving per week of salmon can mitigate depression. You can manage that.

Nutritionally, wild and farmed salmon are comparable, though counter-intuitively some research shows that ocean salmon is better than farmed salmon regarding contaminants, pollutants and known carcinogens.

Lox, fresh salmon fillets, frozen salmon and even processed fish like Gorton's – wild or farmed – all are elements of an anti-depression diet.

“There is a syndrome where perfectionism masks a silent depression. You won’t allow your pain or sadness to be expressed. You are petrified of anyone being able to see an inkling of self-doubt or sorrow, fatigue or vulnerability. So you’re seen by others as a “mover and a shaker” – you know how to get things done, and done well. Your life looks great – absolutely no whining coming from you. You count your blessings, every day.

“There’s not a self-pitying bone in your body.”

HERE is a video with Dr. Margaret Rutherford on how some people who seem to have perfect lives are hiding depression.

Aromatherapy candles are great. But how about starting your day with cinnamon toast, lemon tea, and mango shampoo?

Get creative with how you incorporate scent into your life, and choose uplifting aromas to surround yourself at every turn.

Scents that traditionally are uplifting include: citrus (lemon, orange, mango), mint, florals like lilac and jasmine, lavender, rosemary and other herbs.

Or choose scents that lift you up based on your associations and memories such as sugar cookies, rose water, popcorn, your mother's perfume or your father's pipe tobacco.

Spring Cleaning

Getting rid of things you don't need any more makes room for new memories.

It's a simple anti-depression technique, as well.

TRIGGER WARNING: This is a particularly upsetting subject.

There is help for suicidal thoughts and urges, but when you're feeling that bleak you can't believe there is hope or see any way to go on.

The website OC87 Recovery Diaries presents “stories of mental health, empowerment and change.” Many of these are first-person accounts of climbing back from suicidal periods and suicide attempts. Reading about others who have been there may calm, reassure or inspire you.

Stories such as “Dear Mom, I Want to Kill Myself” by Tree Franklyn”: “No one understood. In a world of six billion people, I was alone."

With first person essays, short films, interviews and reviews on topics from addiction to schizophrenia, you will find stories you can relate to.

“You're gonna' be nowhere, the loneliest kind of lonely.
It may be rough going;
Just to do your thing's the hardest thing to do.

“But you've gotta' make your own kind of music,
Sing your own special song.
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along.”

Mama Cass – Make Your Own Kind of Music 

Get help.

With COVID and now extraordinary uncertainty about the future of the United States, it's important for parents to know that there is help available. The following statistics were written BEFORE recent events:

“...approximately 2% of children and at least 4% of adolescents suffer from depression at any given time. By the end of high school, approximately one young person in five will have had at least one episode of depression.

“Children and adolescents who are under stress, who experience loss, or who have attentional, learning, conduct, or anxiety disorders are at a higher risk for depression... The good news is that depression is a treatable illness.”

CLICK HERE for the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry’s online depression resource center.

Give Yourself Grace

I haven’t posted a tip for several days, and that’s okay. As Stuart Smalley, Al Franken’s beloved SNL character, always said, “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me!”

Try not to let the perfect be the enemy of the good. None of us is perfect.

But most of us are pretty darn good.

So do your best to be consistent in your efforts to tame depression, but recognize that sometimes inconsistency or improvisation leads to amazing discoveries and breakthroughs. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” And I make it a practice to always take seriously any sentence that includes the word “hobgoblin”.

Because I’m pretty sure I do not have a little mind, and because I believe these tips may help someone, I will have to try to do better in the consistency department.