10 Signs It's Time to Get Help for Depression
Hopelessness
An inability to concentrate
Unexplained aches and pains
Apathy concerning things you used to like to do
Alcohol or drug abuse
Changes in sleep habits
Changes in appetite and eating
Irritability, agitation, and moodiness
Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
Thoughts of death, suicide, or self-harm
One way to get out of your own head and change your perspective is to visit a museum – in person or virtually. Keep your mind active and explore your world.
With video presentations, gallery tours, interviews with artists and history makers, there is something for everyone, including children.
20 World Online Museums You Can Visit for Free.
The 75 Best Virtual Museum Tours Around the World [Art, History, Science, and Technology]
Depression and poverty are fast friends. Depression can actually mean poverty, as in “the Great Depression”.
“Being in debt, broke, and unemployed can lead to depression, but the converse is also true: depression can precipitate financial meltdown...
“Holding down a job while you are in the throes of the symptoms of major depression can be very difficult for some people – although there are people who find functioning at work far easier than functioning at home. Job loss or unemployment is not uncommon in those with depression.”
This article presents realistic advice about “Depression and Money Issues”.
If you wonder if you need help, talk to your family doctor or another trusted professional.
Get a recommendation. Make the call.
“Even on the days when I feel mentally well enough to exercise, there’s no guarantee that working out is going to boost my mood. Of course, there is research that shows a correlation between exercising and reduced depressive symptoms for some people with depression – but that doesn't mean it's a clinically proven cure. Aside from that, being told that it will make me happier by people who don’t understand the constraints of a mental health issue is as ill-informed as it is annoying.
“I go through days when working out simply isn’t in reach. I’m too fatigued and feeling too hopeless to do so much as open a curtain. Feelings of lethargy are common in people with mood disorders, and exercising when you’re feeling that low-energy can be as close to impossible as it gets. Asking us to transcend the symptoms of our illness and do something that isn’t currently within our reach is a patronizing strategy.”
– Beth McColl
(Read article HERE.)
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”
You've seen and heard it a million times, usually in reference to Alcoholics Anonymous.
Whatever your religion or philosophy, think about whether you can adopt this as a liberating motto.
Don't beat yourself up over “failings” that are part of your innate character. They aren't failings. They're you in all your glory! Love yourself the way you are. Learn life hacks to circumvent issues that your quirks and personality traits may cause. And move on, accepting the things you can't change.
And when it comes to the world around you, there is a LOT you can not change. But there are some things you may be able to. Rather than beat yourself up or beat your head against the wall, take some time to really consider what you have power over. You may find it's a lot -- whether in your immediate domain or in the world at large. Take some time in quiet contemplation to discern what you CAN change, what you CAN do. And do it.
Decisive action is a powerful depression treatment. Courage!
Do something fun! Something you don't usually do. Shake it up!
Take a walk in the woods.
Go to a shelter or pet store and visit the animals.
Sing karaoke.
Play.
Or work if that's fun – work on a project you put aside, such as a business plan or a quilt or woodworking project.
Go to a ball game with a friend.
It doesn't much matter what you do. Just break your usual patterns that are contributing to your depression.
“Sea glass is beautiful. Everyone loves sea glass, and everyone wants to find sea glass, but no one wants to become sea glass. It is worn and shaped by the forces around it. It is beautiful because of what it has endured. The original colors change, but become something even more beautiful. But sea glass is never bright and shiny. It is not perfect glass. In fact, it is broken glass – the furthest thing from perfect.”
Get help: Medication
“Please Note: Although antidepressants can be effective for many people, they may present serious risks to some, especially children, teens, and young adults. Antidepressants may cause some people, especially those who become agitated when they first start taking the medication and before it begins to work, to have suicidal thoughts or make suicide attempts. Anyone taking antidepressants should be monitored closely, especially when they first start taking them. For most people, though, the risks of untreated depression far outweigh those of antidepressant medications when they are used under a doctor’s careful supervision.”
The National Institute of Mental Health provides clear information on recognizing and treating depression.
Thank you to HuffPo for this great column, and to Liv Raimonde for her inspiring piece, Open Letter to My Depression: 4 Ways I Defeat You Every Day!
“Dear Depression,
“I must say you have put up quite a fight. You insidiously infiltrated my life years ago completely unbeknownst to me. For years I blamed myself for the rage, despair and deep emptiness that consumed my life. But it was you all along, hiding cowardly in the shadows, vehemently inflicting pain on my existence. You tore my confidence to shreds, destroyed relationships that I held dear and stripped away my appreciation for life...”
Read the entire letter HERE.
“Despite increased awareness of what bipolar disorder is and how it affects people's lives, often thanks to movies and shows like Silver Linings Playbook, Homeland, and Michael Clayton, there are still strong stereotypes that influence how we define and recognize the condition in ourselves and in loved ones.”
Decreased need for sleep
Racing thoughts and accelerated speech
Restlessness and agitation
Overconfidence
Impulsive and risky behavior
Hopelessness
Withdrawal from family and friends and lack of interest in activities
Change in appetite and sleep
Problems with memory, concentration and decision making
Preoccupation with death and thoughts of suicide
Yippee! It's Tax Day! (Said no one, ever.)
“There’s no need to go it alone as you deal with tax-based stress. While chatting with a trusted friend or family member may help, there’s no substitution for a series of sessions with a licensed therapist. You’ll gain valuable skills for dealing with symptoms and just might uncover factors exacerbating your tax situation and further harming your mental health.
“Help can come in many forms. While a therapist may be critical for dealing with feelings of hopelessness, you’ll also want to tackle the problem head-on. Working with an attorney may help you feel more in control of your tax situation – and therefore less vulnerable to the symptoms of anxiety or depression.”
And if you fall behind on your taxes, the stress grows. Here are some tips for dealing with tax issues before they completely stress you out.
If you seem to be annoyed and irritable a lot of the time, know that there is a connection between depression and irritability.
A 2013 article in the JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) Psychiatry online begins:
“Although symptoms of irritability or anger are not central to the diagnosis of unipolar major depressive episodes (MDEs), these symptoms have been found, in cross-sectional studies, to be highly prevalent and associated with increased comorbidity and depressive illness burden.”
An article in a different online newsletter is entitled Irritable Depression: When Sadness Feels Like Anger.
With mental illness and several suicides in her family, including her famous grandfather and sister, Mariel Hemingway had some tough choices to make. She successfully chose to actively work at keeping depression at bay.
Check THIS insightful interview with the actress and author.
Self-medicating:
Alcohol
Tobacco
Sex
Food
Sugar
Chocolate
Sleeping
Exercise
Cannabis
Drugs: Cocaine, Amphetamines, Opiates such as Codeine, Heroin, and Methadone
Any of these certainly may make you feel better, but in some circumstances they each may also be more harmful than helpful. Most can be addictive and all can create real physical, emotional and social problems, especially if overindulged. Well, except perhaps chocolate.
If you feel you have a problem, please seek help.
Some studies show a correlation between low salt intake and depression. However, the vast majority of people with Western diets get far more salt than they need, and research is inconclusive.
If you suffer from depression and are restricting your salt intake to below 6 grams per day for adults or 2 grams per day for children, ask your doctor to look into any possible connection between the two.
HERE is a nice, short, Buzzfeed video on the Things Nobody Told Me About Depression.
With British accents, so that's a plus!
There are circumstances in the world today that are extremely depressing, seeming to be beyond our control yet greatly impacting our lives, creating a feeling of helplessness, and offering few clear paths to navigate all of the very real dangers.
I’m writing as an American, and in a few short months the country I love has been set back decades if not more. We have been transformed and disfigured. We are scared and confused.
We may never get our place back in the world, and I can’t help you with that.
But perhaps I can help you cope emotionally and mentally. Because no matter what it stems from, depression combines what is happening in the world with how your brain interprets it. And you have a choice as to how you think and how you act.
For me, I’m focusing on what I can control. What can you control?
Focus on your health. Eat as well as you can, move as often as you can, keep doctor’s appointments at all humanly possible. Meditate. Make art — draw, color, knit, sew.
Faithfully follow your medication schedule and make your doctors appointments.
If health care costs are soaring and services are being cut, reach out to your family doctor, your church, your family, your hospital liaison or patient advocate, your bank, any public health services — ask everyone you know for ideas and for help covering costs or finding affordable care.
Love with all your heart.
Be kind.
Stay in touch with those you love. The more often the better for you and them. And for all of us.
Build community. Love rather than withdraw.
Protect the most vulnerable.
Continue to give to the causes you believe in, continue your volunteer work and community involvement.
Give money or your time to organizations in your community that help.
Reach out to immigrants, queer people, and any in your community that are not “mainstream”. Which at this point is all of us. Even white males who are poor or in the education field or… There are people in your town or neighborhood or school who need direction and protection and solidarity.
Participate in working to save democracy in any way that you are physically, mentally and emotionally able to.
Demonstrate and protest. There were just huge nationwide demonstrations to reclaim the power of the people. There will be more.
Write letters and make phone calls.
Have hard, but civil and caring, conversations.
Lead by example. Model love, hope, determination and action.
My point here is that you are powerful! Nurture your power with healthy choices and community and love. Depression can not stand up to concerted active empowerment. And neither can any evil.
And be careful out there!
There is research showing a vegetarian diet causes or increases depression. There are also studies showing a vegetarian diet prevents or decreases depression. Respected scientists disagree.
However, Omega 3 Fatty Acids are fairly universally agreed by research scientists and doctors to be necessary for many bodily functions, including for staving off depression. Nutritional supplements are useful for vegetarians.
For pescatarians (people who eat a mostly plant-based diet but do include some seafood), studies suggest that just one serving per week of salmon can mitigate depression. You can manage that.
Nutritionally, wild and farmed salmon are comparable, though counter-intuitively some research shows that ocean salmon is better than farmed salmon regarding contaminants, pollutants and known carcinogens.
Lox, fresh salmon fillets, frozen salmon and even processed fish like Gorton's – wild or farmed – all are elements of an anti-depression diet.
“There is a syndrome where perfectionism masks a silent depression. You won’t allow your pain or sadness to be expressed. You are petrified of anyone being able to see an inkling of self-doubt or sorrow, fatigue or vulnerability. So you’re seen by others as a “mover and a shaker” – you know how to get things done, and done well. Your life looks great – absolutely no whining coming from you. You count your blessings, every day.
“There’s not a self-pitying bone in your body.”
HERE is a video with Dr. Margaret Rutherford on how some people who seem to have perfect lives are hiding depression.
Aromatherapy candles are great. But how about starting your day with cinnamon toast, lemon tea, and mango shampoo?
Get creative with how you incorporate scent into your life, and choose uplifting aromas to surround yourself at every turn.
Scents that traditionally are uplifting include: citrus (lemon, orange, mango), mint, florals like lilac and jasmine, lavender, rosemary and other herbs.
Or choose scents that lift you up based on your associations and memories such as sugar cookies, rose water, popcorn, your mother's perfume or your father's pipe tobacco.
Getting rid of things you don't need any more makes room for new memories.
It's a simple anti-depression technique, as well.
TRIGGER WARNING: This is a particularly upsetting subject.
There is help for suicidal thoughts and urges, but when you're feeling that bleak you can't believe there is hope or see any way to go on.
The website OC87 Recovery Diaries presents “stories of mental health, empowerment and change.” Many of these are first-person accounts of climbing back from suicidal periods and suicide attempts. Reading about others who have been there may calm, reassure or inspire you.
Stories such as “Dear Mom, I Want to Kill Myself” by Tree Franklyn”: “No one understood. In a world of six billion people, I was alone."
With first person essays, short films, interviews and reviews on topics from addiction to schizophrenia, you will find stories you can relate to.
“You're gonna' be nowhere, the loneliest kind of lonely.
It may be rough going;
Just to do your thing's the hardest thing to do.
“But you've gotta' make your own kind of music,
Sing your own special song.
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along.”
Mama Cass – Make Your Own Kind of Music
With COVID and now extraordinary uncertainty about the future of the United States, it's important for parents to know that there is help available. The following statistics were written BEFORE recent events:
“...approximately 2% of children and at least 4% of adolescents suffer from depression at any given time. By the end of high school, approximately one young person in five will have had at least one episode of depression.
“Children and adolescents who are under stress, who experience loss, or who have attentional, learning, conduct, or anxiety disorders are at a higher risk for depression... The good news is that depression is a treatable illness.”
CLICK HERE for the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry’s online depression resource center.
I haven’t posted a tip for several days, and that’s okay. As Stuart Smalley, Al Franken’s beloved SNL character, always said, “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me!”
Try not to let the perfect be the enemy of the good. None of us is perfect.
But most of us are pretty darn good.
So do your best to be consistent in your efforts to tame depression, but recognize that sometimes inconsistency or improvisation leads to amazing discoveries and breakthroughs. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” And I make it a practice to always take seriously any sentence that includes the word “hobgoblin”.
Because I’m pretty sure I do not have a little mind, and because I believe these tips may help someone, I will have to try to do better in the consistency department.
Depression is not about what's going on in your life, it's about how you think about what's going on in your life.
Catching self-abusing thoughts and turning them into rational assessments of a situation is key.
Try to remember to react to automatic thoughts with rational responses, and write it down: list automatic thoughts on the left half of a piece of paper and the rational response to each thought on the right side.
Even when you're so depressed you can't see the solution, try this technique, pioneered by David D. Burns, whose books are fundamentals in the field of depression.
Click HERE for a yoga YouTube channel, Yoga with Kassandra, with truly easy stretches, breathing exercises, yoga tutorials, and more. Kassandra is down-to-earth and clear, and her exercises are super-doable.
“In the eye of a hurricane
"There is quiet
For just a moment.
A yellow sky.
"When I was seventeen a hurricane
Destroyed my town.
I didn’t drown.
I couldn’t seem to die.
I wrote my way out”.
– from Hamilton
Journal.
Make lists of things you've accomplished.
Write automatic thoughts and then rational responses to them (David D. Burns). Write down the automatic thought depressing you right now – not what you are feeling but what you are thinking. Then write down a rational response to that automatic thought.
Write your way out.
Get help -- which may come from a variety of resources.
The passage here was written in the first months of the COVID pandemic, but the advice rings true today. With so much change all around them, including heading to the end of the school year and possibly decisions about their futures, kids need someone to listen to them and to guide them.
“Coaches have a vital role to play here. They can help their athletes process what is going on, discuss their feelings, try to come up with ways to make the seniors feel special – even if they never play another game. I promise you, coaches are already doing this.
“Something else coaches are doing – they're checking on their athletes who they know can be in vulnerable positions. As soon as Governor Roy Cooper announced the statewide closure of schools, I saw numerous coaches on Twitter offering to help kids get food and meals, bring them school supplies, help them find Internet connections, or offer other types of help as needed.”
Those of us with mental illness had a fierce advocate in actor and author Carrie Fisher.
She made it OK to be depressed, bipolar, or otherwise mentally ill.
“We have been given a challenging illness, and there is no other option than to meet those challenges,” Fisher said. “Think of it as an opportunity to be heroic – not ‘I survived living in Mosul during an attack’ heroic, but an emotional survival. An opportunity to be a good example to others who might share our disorder.”
– Carrie Fisher interview for The Guardian
“That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end.”
– Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation
Sometimes it does feel impossible, but you CAN regain hope.
* * * * *
Here's a song I find inspiring. It is rap, and I know that's not for everyone. But it's full of hope and inspiration.
Hold on.
I don't know about you, but right about now, I just want to lock out the world and watch videos. Perhaps you can relate? Many of us are feeling nervous, depressed, frightened, confused, uncertain...
What can you do to stave off depression in precarious times?
As often as you can manage, focus outside of yourself and engage in the world.
Help someone else. Give blood. Talk to a senior citizen. Volunteer once a week.
No need to make a big commitment that may feel overwhelming.
Do something – no matter how small it seems to you – that is not about you. Acts of kindness and acts of service can fend off depression.
Create regular eating habits to ease depression.
There can be relief in simply not thinking about what to eat for dinner every day, and not foraging throughout the day, but rather having a simple, regular plan.
There can also be significant physical relief as digestion becomes more regular.
When carbohydrates are regularly decreased, especially simple sugars, and vegetables are increased, there is often a mood stabilizing effect. That is a lot easier to accomplish when you have a plan and have created a habit instead of grabbing things on the fly.
Rumination used to be a major problem for me, and it still plagues me at times. "Rumination" is the term for what a cow does with its food -- chewing the same bit over and over again, swallowing it, then bringing it back up to chew more. Wash, rinse, repeat. Sound familiar?
From the website of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy center of Los Angeles:
"Rumination is a common mental habit that involves endlessly replaying negative thoughts or feelings, often related to past or future events. Persistent overthinking and repetitive thoughts can take a significant toll on your mental health, leading to an increase in negative emotions, and psychological disorders like anxiety and depression. Although people who ruminate often do so with the belief that they are solving a problem, the reality is they are ensuring their mood remains low by not participating in rewarding activities. If rumination is not actively targeted in treatment, significant research has shown it will result in slower symptom reduction during treatment and can lead to a poorer response to therapy. Because poor treatment outcome is associated with rumination, there are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) interventions specifically designed to teach people how to stop ruminating."
Here are some tips from their website, and a LINK to delve into it further. I have found working toward minimizing my rumination a huge help in reducing my depression.
Journal.
Distract yourself.
Be mindful.
Make a plan.
Consider new perspectives.
Know your triggers.
Schedule your worry.
Recognize unproductive worry.
See a therapist.
CNET.COM published a list of the Best Mental Health Apps of 2025.
NOTE: Not all of these apps are free. This list does not imply endorsement.
Best online therapy apps - Talkspace
Best meditation mental health app - Calm (FREE)
Best app to combat negative thinking - Moodfit
Best mental health app to boost your mood - Happify
Best mental health app for anxiety - MindShift CBT - (FREE)
* * * * *
BEST FREE MENTAL HEALTH APPS (From sources across the web)
Calm
MindShift CBT - Anxiety Relief
Happify
PTSD Coach
Sanvello
Insight Timer - Meditation
Smiling Mind
Breathe, Think, Do with Sesame Street
CBT-i Coach
Fabulous
I Am Sober
Managing Your Stress and Anxiety
NOCD
QuitNow
Better Help - Therapy
Youper - CBT Therapy Chatbot
Thanks to Shakespeare, March 15 is well known as the Ides of March (he didn't create that term). In his play "Julius Caesar" a soothsayer warns Caesar to "Beware the Ides of March!" March 15 was the day that Caesar was assassinated by people who were his closest friends and colleagues. Yikes!
Now,
I don't promote paranoia. Trust no one? I love the X-Files, but
that's kind of bleak. And most importantly it doesn't serve you very
well.
Who can you trust? Find someone with no history with
you and no preconceived notions of who you are. Someone objective.
Someone
trained to objectively listen to you and guide you.
Here's list of 5 ideas to get you started -- but there are so many more resources to get help.
* Your family doctor can always refer you for the appropriate counseling.
* Your school guidance counselor has a comprehensive list of help in your area.
* Any church, synagogue or place of spiritual observation. The doors are always open to places of worship, and no matter what you believe or if you are a non-believer, there are people there trained to listen who have a lot of community resources to refer you to.
* Crisis hotlines are available for most issues. The people who answer are trained, experienced and compassionate.
* Support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (and many others) offer help from your peers -- people who have some of the same issues you do and can simply listen and offer nonjudgmental support.
Most importantly, please get help if you need help.
A Personal Note
For years "It's not a tumor!" -- a line Arnold Schwarzenegger said in "Kindergarten Cop" -- was my go-to joke. I said it all the time. Seriously, people got a bit annoyed with my lame humor (and terrible Arnold impression).
In 2020 -- the perfect year for it -- I found out it WAS, in fact, a tumor. I was diagnosed with a very large (2" diameter) tumor right in the middle of my brain. The middle front-to-back, top-to-bottom and side-to-side. Just sitting there growing and putting increasing pressure on the rest of the brain.
It was benign, thank all deities, and I had successful surgery to remove it on my birthday. A rebirth for me.
So, first of all -- 2020 sucked.
Second -- my 2020 was pretty lucky, after all, as the tumor that eventually would have killed me was finally discovered and removed.
Third -- you really, really, really, really should not self-diagnose or self-treat.
This website is written by a layperson, but even if I was an eminent research biologist or renowned psychologist, the advice would be the same. See a doctor. In person. Right now.
If you are depressed or have ANY symptoms, frankly, see a doctor and get a thorough check-up. Doctors are pretty smart. A fantastic G.P. knew the first time we talked that I needed an MRI.
Get help.
"I'm Fine" - Learning to Live with Depression – Jake Tyler – TEDxBrighton”
“Depression is huge. It's the biggest, most inclusive club in the world. Anyone can join. It's evolving all the time. But its biggest trick is convincing everyone who's part of that club that they're the only member. Isn't that clever?”
An endearing and inspiring TEDTalk.
Tip of the Day
Sit in the sun. From healthline.com:
“Exposure to sunlight is thought to increase the brain’s release of a hormone called serotonin. Serotonin is associated with boosting mood and helping a person feel calm and focused...
“Without enough sun exposure, your serotonin levels can dip. Low levels of serotonin are associated with a higher risk of major depression with seasonal pattern (formerly known as seasonal affective disorder or SAD). This is a form of depression triggered by the changing seasons.”
Reading these tips may be very helpful to you. But you know what would be even better?
Professional help.
Even if you've tried before and think nothing can help you. Try again.
Get help.
* * * * *
Here are 7 resources with toll-free phone and/or text numbers for emergency help:
Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (English & Spanish) - 988
Lifeline Crisis Chat: https://988lifeline.org/chat/
Crisis Text Line – US and Canada: text “HOME” to 741741
UK: text “SHOUT” to 85258
Canada: KHP (Kids Help Phone) text CONNECT to 686868
Ireland: text “HOME” to 50808
The Trevor Project: www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/
Crisis/Suicide Intervention for LGBTQ youth under 25, 1-866-488-7386.
Free, confidential, secure – text START to 678-678.
National Domestic Violence Helpline:
1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788 – TTY – 1-800-787-3224
Chat in Spanish from the website: https://espanol.thehotline.org/
Military OneSource – Help for U.S. Military Personnel
Call and talk anytime, 24/7, in Spanish & English – 1-800-342-9647.
TTY/TDD – Dial 711 and give the toll free number 800-342-9647
Live Chat – https://livechat.militaryonesourceconnect.org/chat/
The International Association for Suicide Prevention can link you to hotlines and other resources outside of the USA: https://www.iasp.info/resources/
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Helpline:
1-800-662-4357(HELP)
Call or Text 988
Confidential, free, 24/365 information service, in English and Spanish
So, make a list of those you want to stay in touch with and every week call or email the next person on the list.
The people you depend on or who depend on you should be contacted most frequently, but the more people you stay in touch with the lighter your life will feel.
And you may be the guiding light in someone else's life – helping them more than you will ever know.
10 Signs It's Time to Get Help for Depression
Hopelessness
An inability to concentrate
Unexplained aches and pains
Apathy concerning things you used to like to do
Alcohol or drug abuse
Changes in sleep habits
Changes in appetite and eating
Irritability, agitation, and moodiness
Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
Thoughts of death, suicide, or self-harm
“Vincent Van Gogh, famous painter and artist, was labeled peculiar with unstable moods most of his short life. Many people have tried to give a definitive diagnosis of his illness through reading his personal letters. It seems clear that his depressive states were also accompanied by manic episodes of enormous energy and great passion. Van Gogh committed suicide at age 37.” (Famous People and Depression)
Considered one of the greatest artists to ever live, Van Gogh's short life has inspired many artists over the years, including the producers of the BBC television series Doctor Who, who created an incredible episode called Vincent and the Doctor.
The joy and melancholy that must have been Vincent is achingly apparent in THIS scene. And the poignancy of knowing that he killed himself no matter how many people loved his work, is stunning. It's an illness, folks.
